When I got home Jack and I played, read, ate, played, and finally he gave in the good fight and went down for a nap.
It was sunny day but the type of cold day where you can see your breath. There is so much on my "To Do List". Emails, thank you cards, Christmas presents to shop for, blog posts to write, floors to be cleaned, laundry to be put away, rugs to be vacuumed, dinner to be prepared, toilets to clean, presents to wrap, birthday decorations to be take down, Pilate's workouts to be completed...the list goes on and on and on.
This morning while I was playing with Jack I was also playing past church messages on my computer. I miss Willow and the teaching, and when I watch a message it makes me feel like I am right at home. There has just been a desire in my heart lately to deepen my relationship with Jesus. Maybe it's Christmas, maybe it is just me. My bright idea today was to play church messages instead of the usual Christmas music. But there I was half listening while trying to cross things off my "To Do List".
When Jack laid down for his nap I picked up the mail bin to go through for addresses. And then I saw these two small colorful books that I had been wanting to read so badly. I love to read and I was particularly thirsty to open up these little books and drink up their words/stories/teachings. I just haven't had the time or discipline. But today a little voice convinced me that over everything I had to do I needed to sit down and read the most. A little self indulgent it seemed, selfish almost, unproductive. I was worried what Mike would think when he came home from work and asked what I did today during Jack's abnormally long nap, and I said "read a book". Nonetheless, that little voice got something stirring in my heart and prompted me to pick up those books.
I made myself a cup of cranberry white tea, lit my favorite Swan Creek candle, turned on some classical music, curled up in the corner of our leather couch that swallows you, and covered up with a down comforter throw. It was perfect with the sun pouring in the windows, Christmas tree lights in my line of sight, and my loyal little Yorkie laying in the nook of my legs keeping my feet warm.
One of the books that I have been so anxious to read is Cold Tangerines, by Shauna Niequist. It is an early Christmas gift from my Mom. Shauna is the daughter of Bill Hybels, the pastor & founder of Willow Creek Community Church. She is a few years older than me but I knew that her book would have so much I could relate too. We went to the same church, same high school, attended small Christian colleges, are now married with a little boy, she even lived in Grand Rapids for a time. Shauna loves food, good wine, entertaining, travel, literature, God, family, and friends. I have followed Shauna's blog for a while now after hearing about her struggle after a miscarriage. I had just gone through one and a friend from church recommended I read Shauna's story. That is the source of all of my background knowledge and that I grew up with her Dad has always talking about her on Sunday's. It's funny how you feel like you really know someone after following their blog! I guess that's the point of these though. Anyways, the book is about "Celebrating the extraordinary nature of everyday life".
For two and half hours I read. I cried, laughed, and reread. It is one of those books that I don't want to end, because at this time in my life I just need that book and all it has to say. It was a perfect afternoon. I feel happier and rejuvenated.
In all of the craziness of life lately I needed to just take a minute and enjoy God and His goodness. God's plan was for me to read that book, and luckily for me I paid attention to his promptings and not my my plan. Funny how that happens. I need to do that more often in life. One of my strengths I feel like is enjoying the moment and the simple things in life, but lately I lost that part of myself in all of my busy-ness. There have been so many changes in my life this year and it was amazing to read a book where someone could relate to me! Had the same crazy feelings and same tough questions for God. I became a Mom, moved to a whole new place leaving family behind, challenged myself in maintaining old friendships while forging new ones.
I am just very happy that during this busy season I got to sit and spend some QT time with God. Makes me a better Wife, Mom, Daughter, Sister, and Friend. My little quiet peaceful afternoon totally kickstarted me to get back celebrating each and everyday that God has given me.
This is a very long and rambling blogpost, there are few that read this blog, and fewer that probably read the things I write. But that's okay because I wrote this post mostly for myself, so I can be reminded and held accountable to listen for God's voice and take joy in this life of mine He created. To keep growing my faith and growing as a woman of God. Cold Tangerines may not be a book for you to read at this time. But I urge you to quiet yourself the best you can and listen for Him. Maybe it's a book, CD, message, or visit with a special someone in where God wants to chit chat with you. It's amazing who and what He uses to get His message across when He wants you to hear something.
"I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don't want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift". -Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist
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